b a d c

if I were to ever get a tattoo it’d be a mermaid

IF YOURE GONNA TELL ME YOU CAN ONLY WORK THREE FUCKING DAYS A WEEK THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU APPLY FOR THIS JOB

I wonder how many books I’ve read in my entire lifetime

“When you’re dating a guy make sure you meet his dad so you can determine if your boyfriend will still be handsome when he’s older. It’s important to know these things. He might grow up to be ugly.”

- my mother

I want to go back to college. I am bored and lonely. I am used to literally living with all my best friends. Now I am sitting in my room complaining on tumblr.

so this morning I was working at the pool trying to get it ready to be open but this one guy brought his dog and I just hung out with the dog and any time someone was like hey Alex why don’t you- I was like omg I am so so sorry this dog is preventing me from work there’s nothing that can be done it’s just this dog man

going to be late to my econ class but don’t care because econ is a class where they just teach you common sense and I doodle things

I just wanna eat a donut and go to sleep ya feel me

b a d c

I watched 6 movies today get at me

if you ask a question that you know is rude or inappropriate and then tack on “if you don’t mind me asking” afterwords I will actually end up minding that you asked even more and dream of punching you in the face

This is what I imagine happening every time I have a scrape that heals

Me: oh I guess the scab on my knee fell off
Dust mites: TONIGHT, WE FEAST

if you lived in a cannibalistic society wouldn’t you be terrified to make out with someone? like they start kissing your neck and then get hungry and rip out your throat

The only thing I give my all to is being 110% done